he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
