O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
