he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need a beard to bite.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
