i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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