I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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