i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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