How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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