You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
