I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
