Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
