It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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