i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
