chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I party with great urgency now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
