This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
