Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
