Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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