is your mom at the bar?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
