We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
