last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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