too bad you live with your parents still
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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