Betty ford says i'm here all night
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
