i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
