I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
