Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
