I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
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