YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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