also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
