Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
