Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
