if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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