pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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