My balls are so social today.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
