Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
