gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
