Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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