You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
