the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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