i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
