So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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