I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
