Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
