Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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