erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
