We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
