"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
love makes seman taste better
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
