This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
