Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
