Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
