Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
