At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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